Gifts
A long time ago when my son was very young he was having a hard time with life. He was often frustrated and angry. He had been diagnosed with ADHD at an early age because his kindergarten teacher kept pushing us with her negative feedback about him in class. After a series of tests and evaluations it was decided that he should begin a regimen of Ritalin. Later, after the Ritalin caused him to develop ticks it was switched to Concerta. Over time the ticks diminished. Looking back, I realize that during his time with the drugs he was anxious and upset a lot of the time.
In an effort to help him be more positive I used to get him to think of 10 good things in his life each day and be thankful for them. I asked him to focus on anything that may have made him smile that day from a great TV show to a bird or tree that he may have seen and liked.
In an effort to help him be more positive I used to get him to think of 10 good things in his life each day and be thankful for them. I asked him to focus on anything that may have made him smile that day from a great TV show to a bird or tree that he may have seen and liked.
He’d been an engaging kid with a vivid imagination and alternate view of the world that I welcomed.
My father had passed away when he was just nine months old. Consequently, they had actually spent very little time together. We’d lived an hour away, I worked and dad had been very sick with cancer for the whole nine months they shared time on the planet. When my son started to speak about going fishing with Grandpa in his dreams I took notice. He would also speak of his home in the clouds and how he was only on loan to us from his other family in the clouds.
As he progressed in school he spoke less of fishing and clouds but one school day stood out. I believe he was in first grade, maybe second. There was a lunch planned for the parents to attend, something about the Rain forest. I knew about it but didn't keep close track of exactly when it was or what I was supposed to do about it.
My life was pretty hectic back then. On a normal day, I'd be off to work by 5AM, home from my morning around 9AM. Then I would do household chores and the family business of online auctions until 2PM, pick up both kids from school between 2PM and 3PM, pick up our babysitter three towns away and bring all of them back to our house. Then I would head back to work after making sure there was a supper for them to eat and homework underway to finish my workday shortly after 7:30PM. I'd be home by 8, early enough to make sure homework was done or help with it then make sure both kids got baths and had clean clothes for the next day and get them into bed at a reasonable hour with a story read to them each night.
After all that I was expected to get back to the online auctions, do dishes and whatever else might crop up. It's true, most of the time my head was on my next assignment and just coming up for air.
Back to the Rain forest...on this one day I arrived at my son's school to pick him up, securing a great parking spot to wait. He walked up to the car visibly upset. When he got into the car he asked where I had been all day, not his normal question. Then he reminded me that I was supposed to be at school that day for the class Rain forest project. I was so upset at the vision I had of my son expecting to see his mom any second, only to be disappointed minute after minute as the time ticked by. I started to cry, exclaiming, "Was that today?" I was so sorry and upset he started to comfort me, telling me that we get to do this over again and I wouldn't forget next time.
I don't know if we do repeat our lives over. I know there are moments I would like back to do differently or see more closely, listen better, care more deeply. I think that moment stuck with me so much that I've had attention on that since then. I still miss things but I try harder not to. We never do know when it may count more than usual.
As he progressed in school he spoke less of fishing and clouds but one school day stood out. I believe he was in first grade, maybe second. There was a lunch planned for the parents to attend, something about the Rain forest. I knew about it but didn't keep close track of exactly when it was or what I was supposed to do about it.
My life was pretty hectic back then. On a normal day, I'd be off to work by 5AM, home from my morning around 9AM. Then I would do household chores and the family business of online auctions until 2PM, pick up both kids from school between 2PM and 3PM, pick up our babysitter three towns away and bring all of them back to our house. Then I would head back to work after making sure there was a supper for them to eat and homework underway to finish my workday shortly after 7:30PM. I'd be home by 8, early enough to make sure homework was done or help with it then make sure both kids got baths and had clean clothes for the next day and get them into bed at a reasonable hour with a story read to them each night.
After all that I was expected to get back to the online auctions, do dishes and whatever else might crop up. It's true, most of the time my head was on my next assignment and just coming up for air.
Back to the Rain forest...on this one day I arrived at my son's school to pick him up, securing a great parking spot to wait. He walked up to the car visibly upset. When he got into the car he asked where I had been all day, not his normal question. Then he reminded me that I was supposed to be at school that day for the class Rain forest project. I was so upset at the vision I had of my son expecting to see his mom any second, only to be disappointed minute after minute as the time ticked by. I started to cry, exclaiming, "Was that today?" I was so sorry and upset he started to comfort me, telling me that we get to do this over again and I wouldn't forget next time.
I don't know if we do repeat our lives over. I know there are moments I would like back to do differently or see more closely, listen better, care more deeply. I think that moment stuck with me so much that I've had attention on that since then. I still miss things but I try harder not to. We never do know when it may count more than usual.
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